Touch of Our Savior's Hand - God Cares

One of my special blogging friends, Karinann, hosts this meme every Friday. It is called Touch of Our Savior's Hand and we participate by posting about the time or times we experienced Jesus' presence in our lives this past week. Why not join us? You can submit your own post and link to Karinann's blog called Blessings for the Day. Karinann, thank you for your inspiring posts and for this meme which helps me pay more attention to Jesus' presence in my everyday life.
Last week I blogged about attending a Mass on Wednesday for victims of sexual abuse. That same day, I also attended my grandson's Confirmation. 2 Masses that day, both celebrated by the Bishop. A day of deep meaning for me.

I decided to wear jeans that day. I rarely wear jeans to Mass. Maybe in cold weather, but not very often. To wear jeans to these two special Masses is rather out of character for me. But I couldn't seem to shake the thought that I needed to wear them. And so I did.

Later that night, I was trying to catch up on reading some blogs I follow, including some from survivors of child sexual abuse. One survivor wrote about April being Sexual Assault Awareness Month. I knew it was Prevention of Child Abuse Month. I did not know it was Sexual Assault Awareness Month, too. 

Then this blogger wrote that she hoped people would be wearing Denim that day - Wednesday  - because that was Denim Day. Everyone was supposed to wear denim to support victims of sexual assault.

What day did I wear jeans to two Masses, including one said for victims of child abuse? Wednesday, of course.

A God-incidence! At first, all I could do was laugh. God has such a sense of humor. But then I began to question myself. Maybe it was not really a God moment. Why would God care if I wore jeans or not on Denim Day? Seems like such a little thing.
But then it hit me.
Maybe He knew that I would care. Maybe He knew that it was not such a little thing to me.

Thankful for Blessings - Tender Loving Care

I love this meme because it helps me to remember all my blessings. Judy, a blogging friend of mine from A Thankful Woman's Book of Blessings, hosts this inspiring meme. I have truly missed her over the past few weeks. Welcome back Judy!
Here are some of my blessings this week:
1. For my blogging friends...we have really become quite a community here online. We worry about each other and we pray for each other. Truly a treasure for me, thank you Lord.
2. Tender Loving Care... my hubby took such good care of me when I was sick with the flu. And then I celebrated my birthday this week and he made me a birthday cake for the very first time! It was chocolate!! Thank you, Lord, for my kind caring husband and for the TLC You give me, too.
3. My best friend of over 50 years... what a gift to have a best friend for a whole lifetime, who knew me when and still loves me now... she has been such a gift in my life... thank you, Lord.
4. Beautiful spring weather... (convertible weather actually) ... cool breezes and clear blue skies... thank You, Lord.
5. The Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist...I believe it was the Eucharist that brought me into the Catholic Church and I am so grateful... thank you Jesus, for your friendship and love and forgiveness...
Your turn! What are some of your blessings this week?

Book Giveaway!

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Prevention of Child Abuse Month. (It also happens to be my birthday month.) This seems to be a good time to give away one of my books. Perhaps you or someone you know could be helped by my story.You can enter to win my book, The Third Floor Window, by posting about this giveaway on your blog. Then link to this post and leave a comment below. If you do not have a blog, just leave a comment. There will be two winners! Contest ends midnight May 6.

Live, Laugh and Love

My birthday is this week. Visited my son and daughter-in-law last weekend and they gave me these candles. They know I just love that saying - Live, Laugh and Love. :)

Life (love) - Went to see the 3D ultrasound of my grandson with my son and daughter in law. This is Landan! We saw him smile and yawn and stretch! So awesome! 29 weeks in the womb.

Love - I came across this quote from St. Catherine of Siena - "The heart of Jesus is a window that is always open."
How awesome is that?

Music Monday - Everlasting God

This Music Monday meme is hosted by Shawntele at Saved By Grace. Join in by clicking on the link here or the Music Monday image in my sidebar. Share your favorite songs and learn some new ones! St. Augustine said when we sing, we pray twice! Thank you, Shawntele, for hosting this great meme!

I cannot seem to get enough of Chris Tomlin's songs lately. This week I chose this one because these days I am needing to be reminded that God's love is forever.

Held by Jesus

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me; and I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish, and no one shall snatch them from my hand." (John 10:27-28)

I love this reading. The image of the Good Shepherd always touches me. John telling Peter on the beach in the gospel reading last week to "Feed my lambs" touches me.

I have a picture in my bedroom of Jesus holding a lamb. Actually, He is cuddling with this lamb. His face is buried in the back of the lamb's neck. The lamb's face looks serene and content. The Hand holding the lamb has a nail mark in it.

I look at this picture whenever I feel down or worried or sad. It gives me peace. I feel like I am not alone.

After all, I am in the best place to be, in Jesus' loving arms, cuddling with the Good Shepherd.

Jesus, thank you for loving me and for holding onto me with your loving strength. Please, Jesus, never let me go. Never let anyone or anything snatch me from your hand. Amen.

picture by Katherine Brown

Sabbath Moment - Slow Down for Turtles Crossing

Sabbath moments are the moments we rest in God, when we take time to just Be with God rather than Do. Sabbath moments are those times when we live in the moment and find the holy in the ordinary. I invite you to share your Sabbath moment(s) here on Saturdays. Be sure to sign into Mr. Linky below. If you don't have a blog, share about it in a comment! Hope you will join us!

A lot of my Sabbath moments seem to be tied into my experience of nature. I evidently hear the Lord speaking to me through His creation and I love listening to Him!

One day this week, on my way to work, I saw cars slowing down and stopping and swerving around something in the road. When I got closer I saw what it was - a turtle! A big one! It stopped in the middle of the road and stuck his head out of his shell, looking at all of us like we were nuts. (Naturally I had no camera.)

What I really love about this is that everyone slowed down and all were so careful to drive slowly around the turtle. We were all busy, on our way to work or school, trying to get somewhere, and along came this obstacle and we had to slow down.

We all cared that this gift from God, this part of creation, would not be hurt. And I found it both amusing and touching.

God seems to find a way to slow us down, whether we like it or not. I am learning to like it.

Praying the Psalms - Psalm 15

I just love the Psalms. No matter how I am feeling, I can find a Psalm that speaks to my heart about it. So I am joining Jenny at Just A Minute in Praying the Psalms every Saturday. Won't you join us? This week is Psalm 15.

LORD, who may abide in your tent? Who may dwell on your holy mountain? (Psalm 15:1)

The Collegeville Bible Commentary for Psalm 15 says that this psalm "shows that nearness to the Lord is not a matter of external ritual alone; it demands heartfelt commitment as well."

I have a great desire to dwell on God's holy mountain, to abide in His tent. It has not always been this way, at least not so that I noticed. But before I converted to Catholicism, when I started going to Mass every week in order to be with my husband, things started to change, The external ritual started making its way into my heart. And one day I "woke up," and I knew my heart had changed.

To love the Lord, to desire to dwell on his mountain, to spend my days seeking my God, is to discover life and love for the first time.

And to never be the same.

Bishop Resigns

According to an AP report, on Wednesday, Pope Benedict promised church action to confront the scandal. This was the same day as the Mass I went to in my diocese for Victims of Child Abuse. This is the month for Prevention of Child Abuse.

God-incidence? 
Yesterday, an Irish bishop resigned and more are expected.
Have our voices counted? Have our prayers for openness and transparency and truth been heard?
Is this the beginning of REAL change, REAL healing?
I don't know. And I do not really find this an occasion to celebrate. So much pain involved. So much work and healing to be done.
But I am hoping.
I hope. I pray.
I thank the Lord. I thank my Papa.

Touch of Our Savior's Hand - Mass for Survivors

One of my special blogging friends, Karinann, hosts this meme every Friday. It is called Touch of Our Savior's Hand and we participate by posting about the time or times we experienced Jesus' presence in our lives this past week. Why not join us? You can submit your own post and link to Karinann's blog called Blessings for the Day. Karinann, thank you for your inspiring posts and for this meme which helps me pay more attention to Jesus' presence in my everyday life. 

Our bishop held a Mass on Wednesday to pray for all victims of child abuse. I didn't know what to expect but I went with a hopeful heart. And I was not disappointed. It was such a beautiful Mass.

I felt the bishop's homily was quite moving. He said what I needed to hear. He focused on survivors of abuse and prayed for our healing. I came away feeling some peace. I really needed that.

As I left the church, I ran into a woman that I had had a phone conversation with the previous day. She knows I am an incest survivor, but she did not know I was going to be at this Mass. So she told me that she had prayed for me in a special way throughout the Mass.

No wonder I felt such peace. To be at that special Mass, to know this Mass was being said for us survivors, to have someone praying for me specifically as well. 

I knew I had been touched by the Savior! 

Statistics of Child Sexual Abuse

"I am haunted by the fact that I know children are being sexually abused right now as I write this and I cannot help them. I cannot stop it. And I am haunted by the fact that other survivors are out there and need someone to listen to them and I feel so helpless. All I can do is tell my story. Which seems like such a small thing." (excerpt from The Third Floor Window, A True Story of Secrets, Survival and Hope)

April is Prevent Child Abuse Month

Statistics of Child Sexual Abuse

• 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18. (96)
• 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18. (96)
• 1 in 5 children are solicited sexually while on the internet. (30, 87)
• Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under. (76)
• An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today. (1)

Even within the walls of their own homes, children are at risk for sexual abuse

• 30-40% of victims are abused by a family member. (2, 44, 76)
• Another 50% are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust.
• Approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know. (1, 44)
• Therefore, only 10% are abused by strangers.

Sexual abuse can occur at all ages, probably younger than you think

• The median age for reported abuse is 9 years old.
• More than 20% of children are sexually abused before the age of 8. 
• Nearly 50% of all victims of forcible sodomy, sexual assault with an object, and forcible fondling are children under 12. 

Most children don't tell even if they have been asked

• Evidence that a child has been sexually abused is not always obvious, and many children do not report that they have been abused.
• Over 30% of victims never disclose the experience to ANYONE.
• Young victims may not recognize their victimization as sexual abuse.
• Almost 80% initially deny abuse or are tentative in disclosing. Of those who do disclose, approximately 75% disclose accidentally. Additionally, of those who do disclose, more than 20% eventually recant even though the abuse occurred.
• Fabricated sexual abuse reports constitute only 1% to 4% of all reported cases. Of these reports, 75% are falsely reported by adults and 25% are reported by children. Children only fabricate 1/2% of the time.

Consequences of child sexual abuse begin affecting children and families immediately. They also affect society in innumerable and negative ways. These effects can continue throughout the life of the survivor so the impact on society for just one survivor continues over multiple decades.

Try to imagine the impact of 39 million survivors.

Statistics from darknesstolight.org

 

Strum the Strings of My Soul

Greetings to you, living God!
You're my first love.

I'm always glad

I can speak to you honestly.

When my enemies chase me down,

I run to Your arms,

where I can complain about my suffering

and You listen and incline Yourself to me.

You know exactly how to strum

the strings of my soul!

 - Mechthild of Magdeburg, The Flowing Light of the Godhead

I can so relate to this right now. And I love the last sentence! You know exactly how to strum the strings of my soul! Amen!

Portrait of a Priest

"Fr. Tom has revealed to me a God I never knew before. Not just through teaching me, but in how he treated me. He revealed to me a God of mercy and compassion. A God who loves me just as I am. A God who wants to wipe the tears from my eyes, now and forever. A God I can trust. A God I do trust." (excerpt from The Third Floor Window, A True Story of Secrets, Survival and Hope)

Father Tom was my spiritual director for about 10 years. To say that he has made a major difference in my life would be a gross understatement. Before I met him I had no clue about God and His passionate love for me. I had no understanding of what it means to have a close intimate relationship with Jesus. I had no trust in God or in His mercy.

I had been sexually abused by my father. Because we usually relate to God in the same way we relate to our father, then my image of God was all wrong. I thought of God as an impersonal being, authoritative, someone almost impossible to please. I thought I had to earn God's love.

Father Tom changed that whole image for me. His unconditional acceptance of me, his treatment of me as a person of worth in God's eyes, as a beloved daughter of the Father, ... just blew me away. And I began to change. My life began to change.

When the clergy abuse scandal broke in 2002, I entered into my own personal crisis. I felt a deep pain that is hard to describe. I was devastated. Month after month I went to see Father Tom and shared my pain. I either ranted and raved for an hour, giving a voice to my anger and feelings of betrayal, or I sat meekly like a little girl, crying and weeping and wishing it would all just go away.

Father Tom sat with me. He sat with me in the dark, month after month. Hour after hour. He never minimized my pain. He never made excuses for the cover up or the abusing priests. He didn't try to fix me. He just sat with me. And listened.

And he told me over and over and over that God was with me, loving me through this. That there were blessings to this pain, that God would make good out of bad.

And I remember thinking that if the Church could give us a priest like this, then there was hope. And I knew I would never leave this Church, not even in those darkest hours.

The irony that a priest would help me heal in a crisis involving priests was never lost on me. I figured God had it planned that way.

And so I realized that most priests were good, caring, faithful men like Fr. Tom. I knew that the abusive priests were in a very tiny minority.

But even one abusive priest is one too many. We cannot minimize the damage that is done to the children who have been abused.

I do not think I can listen to any more excuses.

They say that you are as sick as your darkest secret. I kept my abuse a secret for many years. There are many reasons we survivors do this. But the secret hinders healing.

Child sexual abuse thrives in the dark. It is time we bring it out into the light, so we can get rid of it. It is time to end the secrecy. In families. In churches. In society.

It is time to shine Jesus' light in all of the dark corners. Let us pray that Jesus will heal our church and heal our people and heal our children.

Oh, dear God, please heal our children.

Music Monday - Indescribable

This Music Monday meme is hosted by Shawntele at Saved By Grace. Join in by clicking on the link here or the Music Monday image in my sidebar. Share your favorite songs and learn some new ones! St. Augustine said when we sing, we pray twice! Thank you, Shawntele, for hosting this great meme!

I chose Indescribable by Chris Tomlin. It is a beautiful song with an awesome video and very appropriate with Earth Day this week. God and His Creation are so indescribable!

Jump Right In!

So the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord." When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he tucked in his garment, for he was lightly clad, and jumped into the sea. (John 21:7)

There is so much in today's gospel to reflect on and write about and just plain enjoy! This verse above is one of my favorites because of Peter's reaction to the news that the man on the beach was Jesus.

He jumps into the sea! He cannot wait and arrive at the shore along with everyone else. No. He is so anxious to see Jesus, he is so overcome with love for Jesus, that he just jumps right in.

I am not apt to show my love by just jumping right into things. I do not show my feelings on my sleeves. I tend to be a bit stoic at times. But I am working on it. Music helps me express my love. My writing helps, too.

Dear Lord, I love you so much I feel like I would follow you to the ends of the earth. I do not express it in big moments like jumping out of boats. Help me, Lord to tend your sheep and to witness to the world, my love for you!

Sunday Snippets - A Catholic Carnival April 18

This is the weekly Catholic Carnival! Be sure to visit RAnn at This, That and the Other Thing and check out some posts from other bloggers participating in Sunday Snippets this week. Why not join us and share a blog post or two from last week?

Here is my contribution for this week:
What Love Looks Like
Time to Speak

Praying the Psalms - Psalm 14

I just love the Psalms. No matter how I am feeling, I can find a Psalm that speaks to my heart about it. So I am joining Jenny at Just A Minute in Praying the Psalms every Saturday. Won't you join us? This week is Psalm 14.

The LORD looks down from heaven upon the human race, To see if even one is wise, if even one seeks God.All have gone astray; all alike are perverse. Not one does what is right, not even one. (Psalm 14:2-3)


I used to wonder if God ever got depressed when people are not paying attention or doing what is right.
Actually, I was wondering if he got depressed about ME, when I was the one not doing what was right.
Of course, that is putting human reactions onto God. It is probably oversimplifying what God thinks and feels. Over the years I have come to know that God really is love and God really does love me just the way I am. Right or wrong.
I read somewhere that God loves us not because we are good, but because God is good.
Lord, thank you for your unconditional love and acceptance. Help me to do what is right, to seek you all days in all things, to pay attention. Help me to be wise enough to always follow you. And love you. Amen.

Sabbath Moment - Little Moments

Sabbath moments are the moments we rest in God, when we take time to just Be with God rather than Do. Sabbath moments are those times when we live in the moment and find the holy in the ordinary. I invite you to share your Sabbath moment(s) here on Saturdays. Be sure to sign into Mr. Linky below. If you don't have a blog, share about it in a comment! Hope you will join us!

Here are some of my sabbath moments this week:

1. A visit to the chapel in the middle of the day brought me much needed rest and time for prayer. Visiting Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is always a blessing to me.

2. A little detour to drive by the small lake in my park on my way home from work everyday lifted my spirits and reminded me to thank God for His creation. I was disappointed that I did not see any ducks but the water and the cool breeze refreshed me.

3. Watching the rain last weekend, I felt at peace and rejoiced in God's gifts.

Time to Speak

"I wish I didn’t have to think about my past any more. I would like to be free of it. Sometimes I am tired of looking at the same old stuff. When the pain rises up out of nowhere and punches me in the stomach, I am often surprised by its intensity. After all these years, the pain still can bring me to my knees. Then I think, will I ever be free of it?" (excerpt from The Third Floor Window, A True Story of Secrets, Survival and Hope)

Oh, no, Not again.

As soon as I heard those first few murmurings of accusations being made against Pope Benedict, I wondered if the pain would come back... That pain I felt back in 2002 when the clergy sexual abuse crisis hit the United States. That pain that reached deep through my heart into the core of my very being.

Not again. Have we not learned anything from 2002?

I was relieved when I found out more details about these accusations against the Pope. I felt better after reading this article and others about the facts regarding the case. I read his letter to Ireland and was impressed with it. It did not appear like he was making any kinds of excuses.

I should have stopped at that article, but I didn't. I read another article written by a priest that I read and respect. While he made good points defending the Pope, he then proceeded to defend and make excuses for the bishops who covered up the abuse and protected the abusing priests over the past few decades. I could not believe it.

The pain of the church clergy sexual abuse crisis was the cover up. I was not surprised that there were priests molesting children. Sexual abuse is a societal problem and the church is part of society. Child abusers include - priests, rabbis, ministers, scout leaders, teachers, coaches, fathers, mothers, uncles, next door neighbors - all parts of society are involved. I lived under the same roof with my abuser. The fact that some priests abuse children is not and was not surprising.

The cover up, the excuses, the ignoring of the victims, the numbers of victims increased because the abusing priests were not removed from ministry... all of that hurt. The fact that some bishops chose to protect their church from scandal (in actuality they caused a worse scandal) rather than the little ones in their flock shocked me and pained me to the core of my being.

But I thought that lessons had been learned. I thought that people had been better educated. I thought that we would never return to that place of pain again.

I was naive. I was wrong.

There are those who still make excuses, still defend their actions or lack of action, still forget about the victims as they try to defend themselves.

Then I was led to Jennifer's post in Conversion Diary. It was very good, but even better than the post (for me anyway) was this comment made:

I liked this post; but I still think you are confusing two issues. Yes, some of the critics are calling the Church hypocritical because members of the Church have sinned, and that of course is silly. We are all sinners. But other critics have a good point: when a priest sins, the Church, as an institution, has the responsibility to address the situation and not cover it up. That is the real problem, not the sin itself. To lump both types of criticism together as being anti-Catholic is incorrect. The first is anti-Catholic, looking for any excuse to take down the Church and what it stands for. The second group know what the Church stands for and are justly disappointed that it did not do the right thing in the face of this controversy. As my husband commented, "It looks like the Church is emphasizing Reconciliation at the expense of Responsibility." The Church needs to fully own this problem (out loud, in public) to win back the respect of some of its faithful. If It is what It says It is, there's no reason for It to be scared to do so. (made by the Suburban Correspondent at The More the Messier blog)

Oh, wow. This person gets it. She really does.

I am an incest survivor. I was sexually abused for years by my father. I know the wounds of sexual abuse. I know that many of them take a lifetime to heal. Each survivor of abuse is unique. We each have our own story to tell. And yet, we have so much in common. We all suffer from the shame and betrayal, the stolen innocence.

Some of us feel like we owe each other our voices. We owe each other our stories. For those who cannot speak, the rest of us do. And we carry each other in our hearts. And I cannot tell you how many times I have stood up and shared my experience only to sit down and have someone, or many someones come up to me and tell me - You just told my story. Thank God I am not alone. You just told my story.

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. I am going to post some more about this in the weeks to come. I am going to tell our story.

New PSA from RAINN

I have recently signed up to be a speaker for RAINN - Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network. RAINN has just launched a new public service campaign. Please see video and press release below. The video is excellent!

 (Washington, DC) - RAINN, the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization, today is launching a new celebrity-driven campaign to make sure survivors of child sexual abuse get the help that they deserve. “This campaign is very timely,” noted Katherine Hull, RAINN’s vice president for communications. “The tremendous news coverage recently of these crimes against children has the potential to trigger flashbacks and difficult memories for survivors of child sexual abuse. That’s why it’s critical that we reach these individuals to let them know that it’s never too late to get help.”

The campaign spots feature RAINN’s national spokeswoman, actress Christina Ricci, alongside actors Kevin Bacon, Dylan McDermott, and actress Gabrielle Union. This latest initiative was formed in partnership with director and filmmaker Amy Berg, who was nominated for an Academy Award for her documentary film, “Deliver Us From Evil,” which explored child sexual abuse. The campaign also features music from hit singer-songwriter Ray LaMontagne.

“The majority of child sexual abuse victims know their attacker, and the effects of this crime can last a lifetime as many victims keep the pain inside for far too long and never get the help they need,” said Berg, director of the campaign spots. The new campaign aims to get the message out to child sexual abuse victims that it’s never too late to reach out for help; help is available through the National Sexual Assault Hotlines. According to Berg, “It is clear we need to do more to protect and help our children. It is especially important to tell children that they do not have to keep their abusers’ secret.”

Every two minutes, another American is sexually assaulted; nearly half of all victims are under the age of 18. It’s estimated that there are over 20 million survivors of sexual assault in the U.S. The effects of this crime on victims are staggering; survivors who do not get help following sexual abuse are at a higher risk for suffering from grave mental health issues such as PTSD, depression, drug and alcohol abuse, and feelings of guilt, shame, and anger.

RAINN’s child sexual abuse public service announcements, “The Secret” and “Living in Fear,” are available for free public and private use across broadcast and digital platforms. To learn more about RAINN’s latest campaign and to view the public service announcement spots, visit RAINN's YouTube Channel. To incorporate RAINN’s PSAs digitally, use the “embed” code from YouTube. HD broadcast quality versions of the PSAs, can be directly downloaded from the RAINN website.

If you or someone you know has been sexually abused, please know that the abuse is not your fault and that it’s never too late to get help. If you’re being sexually abused, or have been in the past, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE) or visit the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline at rainn.org to talk to someone who understands what you are going through.

RAINN would like to extend a very special thanks to John C. Manly and Bart Dalton, who made this campaign possible thanks to their generosity and their dedication to eradicating child sexual abuse.

RAINN would also like to thank each and every person who was involved with the production of this PSA who donated his or her time, creativity, and talent. It’s only because of your support that this public service announcement was made possible.

Touch of Our Savior's Hand - What Love Looks Like

One of my special blogging friends, Karinann, hosts this meme every Friday. It is called Touch of Our Savior's Hand and we participate by posting about the time or times we experienced Jesus' presence in our lives this past week. If you wish to participate or check out other posts, visit Karinann at her beautiful blog Blessings for the Day. Be sure to check out her other blogs too! Thank you, Karinann, for hosting this meme and for being such a supportive, caring friend!

There is a couple I know. They celebrated their 60th anniversary recently. It was a quiet celebration and took place in the nursing home where the wife lives now. She has had a stroke and some memory issues. The other day she did not recognize her husband. It was the very first time that had ever happened.

Her husband can still drive right now and he visits his wife everyday. Twice a day. Occasionally he only goes once a day. But that is seldom. He cannot imagine not going to see her. She is the light of his life.

They have had a good life. They raised 3 children, all successful and stable in their lives and their marriages. They have grandchildren they adore. They have lived in the same city all of their lives. 

They have always loved to laugh and be with family. They have a quiet faith. They are not Catholic and I am not sure how often they attended church. But their lives have spoken volumes about what it means to love.

Their home was one of my favorite places to visit as a child. I lived in a dysfunctional family, but their family was "normal." It was fun and loving and I felt safe and cared for there. As an abused child, alone and in pain, I must have recognized what real love looked like.

They are my aunt and uncle. She is my mother's sister. My mother went to see them the other day, and as she filled me in on everything, tears came to my eyes. As I told my husband everything, tears came to my eyes. As I write this, I am crying again.

I cannot put my finger on any one thing that touches me so much. I just know that I am filled with a sense of love and awe. And the knowledge that God has blessed me with their lives. Thank you, Jesus.

Music Monday - Agnus Dei

This Music Monday meme is hosted by Shawntele at Saved By Grace. Join in by clicking on the link here or the Music Monday image in my sidebar. Share your favorite songs and learn some new ones! St. Augustine said when we sing, we pray twice! Thank you, Shawntele, for hosting this great meme!

I chose Agnus Dei sung here by Darlene Zschech. Our church choir sang it at the Easter Vigil Mass after communion. Brought tears to my eyes and goosebumps to my arms! Enjoy!

Divine Mercy Sunday

Let those who fear the Lord say: "His mercy endures forever."

(Resp. psalm from Psalm 118)

What speaks to me most about Divine Mercy Sunday is the reminder of God's everlasting merciful love. The responsorial psalm says it over and over - "His mercy endures forever" ... "His love is everlasting."

I sometimes take that for granted. I speak of it and I believe it. But then when I am faced with something in my own life, I sometimes hesitate and ask that question - will God still love me after this?

Often, I am able to say, Yes! But sometimes, that doubt creeps in, and like Thomas, I want to see it for myself. I want to experience God's mercy for real.

The wonderful thing about today's gospel story of Thomas is, I do not feel so bad for those weak moments of unbelief. If it can happen to one who "sees", then doubt can happen to all of us. In fact, I think having doubt actually leads us to grow more in our faith. We ask a lot of questions. We say a lot of prayers.

After all, let's look again at Thomas. He is the first one to say - My Lord and My God! 

Lord, thank you for your everlasting love and mercy. help me to trust in it always. Help me to be like Thomas, so when I experience your presence, I do not hesitate to witness and say to all who will hear - My Lord and My God!

Sunday Snippets - Catholic Carnival April 11

This is the weekly Catholic Carnival! Be sure to visit RAnn at This, That and the Other Thing and check out some posts from other bloggers participating in Sunday Snippets this week. Why not join us and share a blog post or two from last week?

Here is my contribution for this week:

Draw Near to Me

Praying the Psalms - Psalm 13

I just love the Psalms. I fell in love with them when I spent a month at a Benedictine monastery and chanted the Psalms every day with the monks there. No matter how I am feeling, I can find a Psalm that speaks to my heart about it. So I am joining Jenny at Just A Minute in Praying the Psalms every Saturday. Won't you join us? This week is Psalm 13.

How long, LORD? Will you utterly forget me? How long will you hide your face from me? (Psalm 13:2)

Oh, I have felt that way. I have felt alone and abandoned and forgotten by God. Grief and depression have threatened to consume me. But like the Psalmist, I have been able to reach down and find the faith I needed to hang in there.

I trust in your faithfulness. Grant my heart joy in your help, That I may sing of the LORD, "How good our God has been to me!" (Psalm 13:6)

Lord, I know you promise to be with me always. Help me to always trust in that promise.

Sabbath Moment - Home Sweet Home

Sabbath moments are the moments we rest in God, when we take time to just Be with God rather than Do. Sabbath moments are those times when we live in the moment and find the holy in the ordinary. I invite you to share your Sabbath moment(s) here on Saturdays. Be sure to sign into Mr. Linky below. If you don't have a blog, share about it in a comment! Hope you will join us!

This week was full of Sabbath moments, not due to any planning or special observance on my part. I have had the flu since Tuesday, so I had no choice but to rest.

I had little energy and found myself moving only between my bed and my favorite chair. TV was on just for company. I couldn't read or write much. I struggled to do some of my posts this week. And made very few visits to other blogs (I will be back to visit you all next week!)

I did fiddle around with my blog look in case you were here often enough to see that I kept changing things. Nothing seemed right to me. So I ended up right back where I was before Holy Week. The familiar seems best for now. And isn't that the way it is when we are not feeling well? We just want to be in a familiar place. We just want to be home.

Home to me is where I am feeling safe. Home is where I am feeling nurtured (thanks to my husband!) Home is where God is.

Touch of Our Savior's Hand - Easter Vigil

One of my special blogging friends, Karinann, hosts this meme every Friday. It is called Touch of Our Savior's Hand and we participate by posting about the time or times we experienced Jesus' presence in our lives this past week. If you wish to participate or check out other posts, visit Karinann at her beautiful blog Blessings for the Day. Be sure to check out her other blogs too! Thank you, Karinann, for hosting this meme!
The Easter Vigil Mass. Truly the most beautiful Mass of the year. When the lights came on after the Old Testament readings, and the choir sang the Gloria, I felt a surge of joy. Tears came to my eyes as I felt Jesus' presence in our celebration and song of praise.

Also, I was one of the Lectors for that Mass. My voice had become hoarse during the day and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to read or not. I did not want to mess up the readings or ruin anyone's hearing of the Word. When I got to church, I decided my voice was OK to read, but I kept praying, Lord, help me to read clearly and proclaim Your Word so others can hear Your voice.

When I got up to the ambo, and I began the reading, I was so surprised to hear my voice come out so strong and clear. Even my hubby wondered what had happened to my voice! All I could do was thank the Lord!

Thankful for Blessings - Easter, and Pictures and More

I love this meme because it helps me to remember all my blessings. Judy, a blogging friend of mine from A Thankful Woman's Book of Blessings, hosts this inspiring meme. Be sure to click on the link above or the graphic on my sidebar to visit Judy's beautiful blog and read about others' blessings. And join us all in giving thanks! Thank you, Judy, for hosting this meme and for your inspiring words and encouragement.
Some of my many blessings for this week:
1. I stumbled upon a book called Mary. It is a book of more than 350 pictures, paintings and sculptures of Mary. Each one has a commentary on it and they are grouped under various themes such as Mary and the Passion of Christ. I spent a lot of time in that section during Holy Week. What a blessing!
2. I have posted in recent weeks about seeing eagles and someone got some pictures of them and shared them! I posted one yesterday and here is another one! How awesome!

3. I am thankful for my faith and for the Catholic Church and for the liturgy during Holy Week that is just so moving and inspiring. It is truly my favorite week of the year.
4. I am thankful for my husband. I was proud of him as I watched him serve God and His people throughout Holy Week.
5. I am thankful for jelly beans and chocolate Easter eggs!
Your turn! What are some of your blessings?!?! 
image by Wm. Novak

Sixty Seconds on Tuesday

I am joining Jenny this week at Just a Minute. She has a new meme called Sixty Seconds on Tuesday which you can read more about here. Join her on Tuesdays to preserve a precious moment in word or photo.

Someone finally took a picture of the one of the eagles I have been seeing and writing about! Stay tuned for more!

photo by Wm. Novak

Draw Near to Me

Throughout all of Lent, I have been drawn to praying - Draw me close, Lord (I wrote about it in my Lenten journal). It was a strong urge and a simple prayer, so I enjoyed praying it almost daily as a kind of short prayer throughout the day.

By the time Lent came to a close, I still had no clue as to why God called me to pray that way, other than the obvious call to grow closer in my relationship with Jesus.

Yesterday I was reading a book I had put aside for Holy Week. It is a historical-Christian-fiction book called Sixth Covenant, part of a series written by Bodie and Brock Thoene.This book takes place right after the birth of Jesus. Mary has just given birth to Jesus and the Holy Family is still in Bethlehem, being cared for by a shepherd and his wife.

Mary wants to bring Jesus to his first sabbath service in the local synagogue, so she and baby Jesus and Joseph go with their new friends to the service. The people in town have heard about the birth and the angels announcing the Good News and already believe that this baby is the Messiah they have long been waiting for.

The reading for that day happens to be about Joseph (of the Old Testament) being reunited with his brothers. Joseph tells his brothers that Yahweh has sent him there to help them and deliver them. And Joseph forgives his brothers for selling him into slavery and he loves them. And the constant theme throughout the reading is the word - Vayigash!

Which means - Draw near to me!

And as Mary's Joseph reads that over and over again, the people in the synagogue begin to sing and clap and dance and they lift Mary and baby Jesus up and they rejoice in the Good News!

God has drawn his people close to Him! He says Draw near to me, and I will care for you!

So this is a message for all time. And it is the Easter message as well. Draw near to the Lord, and He will care for us. And He will be with us from now until the end of time.

Draw me close, Lord.

Easter Sunday

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Holy Saturday

Holy Saturday.

Tomb time. Waiting. 

Easter Vigil. New fire. Paschal Candle.

Old Testament to New. Dark to Light.

Empty Tomb.

Baptism. Confirmation.

New life.

Sabbath Moment - Holy Saturday

Sabbath moments are the moments we rest in God, when we take time to just Be with God rather than Do. Sabbath moments are those times when we live in the moment and find the holy in the ordinary. I invite you to share your Sabbath moment(s) here on Saturdays. Be sure to sign into Mr. Linky below. If you don't have a blog, share about it in a comment! Hope you will join us!

Holy Week gave me many sabbath moments. Here is just a couple of them!

1. Remicade Rx - had my Remicade Rx for Rheumatoid arthritis yesterday. Gave me two hours of reading and praying time. I always try to use this time to be with the Lord. And I offer it up any discomfort as well!

2. Good Friday - went to Good Friday service early and sat in the chapel. Blessed Sacrament not there, of course. On Good Fridays, I like to sit there and pray the rosary and experience the "emptiness" of the chapel, the "absence of Jesus." Praying the Sorrowful Mysteries is so meaningful, too.

I wish you all a Blessed Easter!

Good Friday

Good Friday. Golgotha.

Scourging. Carrying His Cross. Crucifixion.
Forgiveness. Died for our sins.

God's love revealed on a Cross.

Holy Thursday

The Last Supper. Bread and wine. Thanksgiving. Washing of the Feet. Jesus' prayer. Love. Forgiveness. Serving. Priesthood. Church.

The Eucharist.

Thank you, Jesus.