Friday, April 19, 2013

Lonely is ...

There are different kinds of loneliness.
Lonely is being in a crowded room and feeling alone. 
Lonely is being sexually abused by your father while the world around you goes on like nothing is happening. 
Lonely is thinking that you are the only person in the world going through this. That there must be something wrong with you for your father to do this to you.
Lonely is wanting to tell your best friend about the abuse, but you are afraid of God knows what. Maybe she won't believe you. Maybe she won't like you any more.
Lonely is thinking that the security of the family depends on you keeping the secret.
Lonely is someone telling you to "Get over it."
Lonely is a family friend who always said you were like the daughter she never had, but now refuses to believe you were ever abused, even though your abuser admits it.
Lonely is feeling like your heart is being pulled right out of your chest by those who do not believe you.
Lonely is being a little girl with a Big Secret.
Listening and believing the survivor can help drive away the loneliness, but healing? It comes from one Person.
April is Child Abuse Awareness Month. Educate yourselves about child sexual abuse. Find out what your church is doing in this area. Find out what your schools and community are doing.
Sexual abuse is in all segments of society.
And the victims are real people. 
Like my sister.
And me.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

How To Help A Survivor

Just Try to Shut Us Up


Karinann said...

Thank you for always having the courage to speak out and share your story. You give a voice to those who cannot find theirs.
Continued prayers for your sister and for your continued healing.
Hugs & blessings!

Colleen said...

Karinann, thank you for your prayers and hugs and encouragement! That helps me to keep writing this stuff.
Hugs and blessings to you too!

mary333 said...

Thank you for not shutting up, my friend. You not only speak for the survivors of abuse but for those who did not survive it like Diane and the thousands of other voices that went unheard.

There is something terribly, terribly wrong with a father who would harm his child in such a way and deeply scar them for life like this. I pray for your healing and your sister's also.

Colleen, I have known way too many people who have been sexually abused. What especially troubles me is most of them were children when it happened. It's horrifying.

God must be amazingly proud of you.

Sending you a great big hug, Colleen!

Colleen said...

Mary, thank you so much! The sexual abuse of innocent children who do not even know what is being done to them, who do not even have the vocabulary, it is too horrible to even imagine.
I would rather forget about it but I cant. I have to speak for those who cant. Like my sister.
Thanks for your prayers and hugs. You and Karin help to keep me going.

Vicky said...


I'm still keeping you and your sister and other victims in my prayers. I hope your sister is feeling some relief and comfort from her suffering.

God bless:-)

Nancy Shuman said...

I came to leave a comment and then saw Mary's.... which captures the essence of what I wold like to say but didn't have the precise words for. "God must be amazingly proud of you." Amen amen amen.

Colleen said...

Vicky, thank you for your prayers! She is still having lots of problems.

Nancy, your prayers and thoughts are so appreciated. You guys are all so great. Thanks for your comments.

Sue Elvis said...


Your words are so powerful. Keep writing and sharing. I am sure you are connecting with many people and passing on hope to them. I have found that people who suffer don't always stop to talk, but I'm sure they read and take anyway so much that is helpful. They probably leave feeling much less alone.

God bless!

Colleen said...

Sue, thank you. Your words help. I do want to pass on hope. Don't we all? God bless.

Barb Schoeneberger said...

Colleen, thanks for writing this. I think too many people are afraid to face the truth. It is too uncomfortable so they choose not to believe. The obvious question, "Why would a kid make up something like that?" or even, "How can a kid even know such things?" doesn't occur to them. And admitting it means they have a responsibility to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. A lot of people can say pretty words but won't take action. For what it's worth, I believe and if I know about it I WILL do something.

Colleen said...

Barb, I know you will. I have no doubt about that.
And I agree with all you said here. It is amazing how some people can live in total "denial." God bless you.

Carol@simple_catholic said...

Prayers continuing for you and your sister, Colleen. You are so brave and courageous. God bless you.

Colleen said...

Carol, thank you for your prayers!

Richard Maffeo said...

Your story -- I sense from the comments it is your story -- leaves me shaken and aching for you. May God cleanse your memories and help you, maybe even, to forgive . . . although that might not be possible. I am not sure I could. Or would. Even though I know what Jesus says about forgiveness. Thank you for not shutting up.

Colleen said...

Richard, thank you for your comment. Your words are affirming to me. To know I am being heard helps take away the loneliness. I have forgiven him, but there is, at this point in time, no reconciliation. Perhaps my next post on this subject should be about forgiveness. God bless!