Sunday, December 8, 2013

Lord, I Repent

"Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!" - Matthew 3:2
To sin means to turn away from God. When we repent, we turn back to God. Repentance means we are sorry. We regret our behavior. We want to change. We want conversion.
We want to be close to God again.
I used to worry about every little thing I did wrong. I tended to be a perfectionist and a worrier. I don't think I trusted very much in God's mercy. After all, I was a new Catholic and very new to this whole spiritual journey thing.
My spiritual director knew me very well and knew that I tended to be too hard on myself. So he told me that when I do some little thing that I think displeases God, just say - Lord, I repent - and let it go.
Not an easy thing for me to do, the "letting go" part. But I learned to do that. I learned to say I repent each time I turned away from God. and soon, I began to trust in God's mercy. And worry less.
Conversions are not just the big things that happen to us. Conversions can happen every day. Those little conversions when we know we need to change, when we know we need to turn back to God.
In a homily about mercy, a priest told a great story about a girl who misbehaves and, afraid that her mother won't forgive her, cries out, saying - "Mom, mom, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please take me back!"
I really loved that story for I recognized myself in it.
Lord, Lord, I repent. Please take me back.
The Good News? God always does.
Dear Lord, thank you for never letting go of me, even when I turn away from you. Help me to always turn back to you and to grow closer to you everyday. Amen.

6 comments :

Karin said...

Colleen,
I sometimes have trouble with the letting go part too. I feel like even though I have told God I am sorry, I need to keep repeating it. I think that comes from the devil and also in our inability to forgive ourselves~even in the little things. One of our priests once told me that when I feel this need to repeat my repentance to remember that God heard you the first time :)
Thanks for the reminder that conversion is an ongoing thing that happens in big and small ways.
Hugs & blessings!

Michael said...

We are SO lucky he keeps taking us back!

God Bless you!

Colleen said...

Karin, thank you! Love what your priest said! I need to remember that.
Hugs and blessings!

Michael, amen! Thank you and God bless!

Barb Schoeneberger said...

I think St. Paul is the one who wrote about how we need to convert daily. If we think about converting being turning to the Lord, it is a daily effort, and multiple times a day, too! We are really lucky that He gives us the grace to convert. I like that, "Take me back!" We are so frail.

Michael Seagriff said...

Colleen:

I am always struck by the power of the simple and inspiring posts you share. You have the gift of touching souls. Thank you.

Colleen said...

Barb, yes, we are frail. I think God cant wait until we say Take me back! Think of the Prodigal Son. He runs down the road to meet him - and take him back.

Michael, thank you so much. I always pray that my words will touch others, that God will use me in that way. God bless.