Monday, November 17, 2014

When God Calls

One of my favorite quotes:
Late have I loved you, O Beauty, ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you! You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you...You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness...You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness...I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more. - St. Augustine

I love this quote because it sounds so much like my own conversion story. God was within me, and I never knew.
Oh, I knew Him when I was a little girl, in a little girl way, but sometime in my teens I lost him.
I thought I was outside of God. I searched and I searched, deaf and blind to God's presence, unaware that I was searching in answer to some call deep within.
I did not know that all through the tough times, God did indeed carry me.
I did not know that all through my life, God loved me and watched over me, even when I didn't know him.
I did not know that when I searched, it meant that God had found me.
God laughed with me, cried with me, counted the hairs on my head, and knew my heart. But I didn't see Him. I didn't know Him. I didn't hear His knock.
But God is faithful. God is patient.
And one day, God broke through my deafness and blindness and self-reliance and stubborn pride, and I suddenly knew Him. I heard His voice. I saw His presence in my life. And I recognized Him.
And now I hunger and thirst for him, more and more.
Late have I loved you, O Beauty, ever ancient, ever new... late, but not too late. It is never too late.
Our God never gives up on us even when we give up on ourselves. Our God is a God of second chances. Our God is a God of endless mercy and compassion. He calls and He shouts and He breaks through our deafness.
And He rejoices when we come home.


Mary N. said...

Beautiful, Colleen. Your post definitely struck a chord in me. Thanks for sharing!

Colleen said...

Mary, thank you for visiting!!