Sunday, December 12, 2010

Are You the One?

When John heard in prison of the works of the Messiah, he sent his disciples to him with this question, "Are you the one who is to come, or should we look for another?" (Matthew 11:2-3)
The God I knew when I was a child was a God who punishes and judges and keeps a little black book listing all my sins.
I did not know the God of love and compassion and mercy.
I did not know Jesus.
So I understand John's confusion and doubt. "Are you the one?"
I would be in my 40's before I would get to know this Jesus of love and mercy and compassion. 
Jesus the Healer.
Jesus the Teacher.
Jesus the Friend.
I had my doubts. I had expected another. 
But over and over Jesus revealed himself to me through a priest who entered my life "out of the blue." And I found my doubts slowly disappearing.
And I found myself healing.
Jesus said to them in reply, "Go and tell John what you hear and see: the blind regain their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have the good news proclaimed to them." (Matthew 11:4-5)
Dear Jesus, thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for always being in my life and loving me, even when I did not know you. Even when I did not recognize you. Even when I doubted.
Thank you for loving me and healing me and never leaving me.
My Lord and my God, I love you. Amen.


Dymphna said...

That's beautiful. How blessed you are.

Colleen said...

Dymphna, thank you. God bless!

deodate said...

Oh Colleen, I'm so happy that you accepted his invitation of love and forgiveness. It's so important that we teach the children who God really is. This is a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.

Tracy said...

Beautiful Colleen!

Daily Grace said...

This is just beautiful!

Colleen said...

Andie, thank you. I agree about teaching our children who God really is.

Tracy, thank you!

Daily Grace, thank you!

Jean Wise said...

This is so beautiful, honest and heartfelt. I prayed it along with you. Let's both continue to get to know Jesus better and better each day. Thanks Colleen

Colleen said...

Jean, thank you! I appreciate your kind comments and for praying with me! God bless.

Jamey said...

I agree...beautiful!

Colleen said...

Jamey, thank you. Have a merry Christmas!

carol@simple_catholic said...

Amen! Thank you for this beautiful meditation.

evanscove said...

An excellent reflection. I've wondered at times why John felt the need to ask Jesus whether He was the One. After all, John had proclaimed Jesus to the people as "the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world." Why the doubts now? Was it perhaps because Jesus had not come bringing fiery judgment and a new rule over the land, as John apparently thought would be the case?

I understand what you mean about your perception of God as a child. I too thought much the same way, seeing God as a big "Santa Claus" keeping a list and giving rewards/punishments accordingly. My understanding of God of course has changed much as I matured and learned more.


Barb Schoeneberger said...

Thanks for this post, Colleen. I don't think John doubted Jesus for one moment. It was John's disciples who were wondering, especially since John was in jail and never getting out except without his head. John knew they needed a direct encounter with Jesus to be at peace. He was humility itself and full of grace from his mother's womb so he did the best thing he could - go ask Jesus yourself and listen to the answer is what he told his disciples.

Like you, as a child I thought God kept lists and my naughtiness was a lot longer that my goodness. Now as an adult I know that true repentance invokes the mercy of God - true conversion invokes the grace to overcome our sinful tendencies. God is looking at our interior motives and keeping no list. He cannot be bargained with. Either we are moving toward Him or moving away. He loves us so much he will continually work in our lives to move us toward Him. All we have to do is develop an attitude of listening to Him.

Colleen said...

Carol, thanks so much!

Evan, I think John just wanted to be sure. He was expecting more fiery judgment etc. I call our childhood spirituality Santa Claus spirituality. Unfortunately a lot of people are still stuck there when they are adults. So I think it is good to talk about it and share. Thanks Evan.

Barb, thanks for interpreting that view of this gospel. I had not heard that before. I like it. God bless!

RAnn said...

God Bless you and yours while you celebrate the birth of His Beloved Son

Colleen said...

RAnn, thank you! Merry Christmas!

Kathleen@so much to say, so little time said...

This is beautiful. I hope I get there someday; I still don't feel a real personal connection with Jesus, I'm afraid. He seems so distant, so unreal. It's the Spirit I feel, and I adore the Spirit, but I feel like I'm missing the point, somehow. :(

Colleen said...

Kathleen, thank you for your comment. I think many of us go through being closer to one of the Three Persons than others. For years, I never really paid much attention to the Holy Spirit. But then I went to a charismatic prayer group for a few years and really changed and related better to the Spirit. There was a time when I was not close to Jesus either. So I think we change as we make our way on our journey. It is all a part of growing.
If you feel like you are missing something, then pray about it. Ask Jesus to help you to grow closer to Him.
Merry Christmas! God bless!