Sunday, December 5, 2010

Repent

"Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!" - Matthew 3:2
To sin means to turn away from God. When we repent, we turn back to God. Repentance means we are sorry. We regret our behavior. We want to change. We want conversion.
We want to be close to God again.
I used to worry about every little thing I did wrong. I tended to be a perfectionist and a worrier. I don't think I trusted very much in God's mercy. After all, I was a new Catholic and very new to this whole spiritual journey thing.
My spiritual director knew me very well and knew that I tended to be too hard on myself. So he told me that when I do some little thing that I think displeases God, just say - Lord, I repent - and let it go.
Not an easy thing for me to do, the "letting go" part. But I learned to do that. I learned to say I repent each time I turned away from God. and soon, I began to trust in God's mercy. And worry less.
Conversions are not just the big things that happen to us. Conversions can happen every day. Those little conversions when we know we need to change, when we know we need to turn back to God.
I went to the vigil Mass at my church this weekend and the priest giving the homily told a great story about a girl who misbehaves and afraid that her mother won't forgive her, cries out, saying - "Mom, mom, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please take me back!"
I really loved that story for I recognized myself in it.
Lord, Lord, I repent. Please take me back.
The Good News? God always does.
Dear Lord, thank you for never letting go of me, even when I turn away from you. Help me to always turn back to you and to grow closer to you everyday. Amen.

16 comments :

Karinann said...

It took me awhile to realize that conversion is an ongoing process. If we only knew how much God wants and loves us.
Great post, Colleen. Thanks for the reminder of the richness of God's mercy.
Hugs & Blessings!

Colleen said...

Karinann, I am not sure we know even now just how much God loves us. Is probably beyond our comprehension.
We are both night owls tonight! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs & God bless!

deodate said...

So beautiful and so true. Every day we need to remember his great mercy. Forgiving and forgetting is difficult for us but easy for him. And...a great gift.
Andie

Mary333 said...

I used to worry too much about every little thing, also. I was overly scrupulous for a while! Drove the priests nuts in the Confessional. Except for the pastor of my church who was even more scrupulous than I was. He didn't think anything of it (lol). Thanks for an excellent post, Colleen :)

Colleen said...

Andie, a great gift indeed. Thank you.

Mary, I was scrupulous, too. My spiritual director helped me a lot with that! Thanks!

Jean Wise said...

Daily dying to self, right? I too am too hard on myself. Sometime I use the image instead of letting go of "to hold lightly" like in my palm, upward to God. That has helped me.

Colleen said...

Jean, I like that image. Thank you.

Tracy said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one, I spent many years also worrying endlessly and not fully trusting in God's love for me, sometimes I still fall into old habits, but these days I quickly remind myself of his love for me.

Blessedmom's Simple Home said...

I loved reading this Colleen. I'm so thankful for His forgiveness.
Your post reminded me of that Matt Redman song "You never let go"
"Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me"
Aren't those beautiful words?
Blessings,
Marcia

Colleen said...

Tracy, thank you. I am glad I am not alone as well! And I think "Quickly" reminding ourselves of God's love is the key! Blessings!

Marcia, thank you! Very beautiful words! I will have to find that song! Blessings!

Jamey said...

This post is so true...and one I needed to read today. :)

Colleen said...

Jamey, glad to know this helped. I know I need that message from time to time too. Hugs.

Carol@simple_catholic said...

I can see myself in that girl, too. Thanks for sharing that story.

Colleen said...

Carol, you are so welcome! God Bless!

Barb Schoeneberger said...

"Take me back!" I love it. God never throws us away.

Colleen said...

Barb, amen! I love it too! Isn't that an easy phrase to remember when we pray? Take me back. God bless!