Thursday, April 5, 2012

Stay Awake with Jesus

It is Holy Thursday. 1:00 am. I am still awake although I do not know why. I am very tired. 
I have not written anything this week since Sunday’s reflection. I seem to have no energy or inspiration.
I keep thinking I should just keep a journal for these 3 special days - the Triduum. A personal reflection perhaps. I don’t really know, so I decide to just write to see what words will come out onto paper.
I visited Karinann’s blog, Daughter of the King, and found a beautiful reflection on Jesus in Gethsemane. She also posted a YouTube rendition of "Stay Here with Me-Taize." Beautiful sung prayer with pictures for reflection.
This video includes a haunting picture of Jesus kneeling with his head bowed in prayer and an angel in the background. It just grabbed my heart. Jesus looked so alone.
I saw pictures of the olive trees at Gethsemane and I am reminded of my visit to the Holy Land several years ago and how the trees looked just as I had always pictured. (that is one of my pictures of Gethsemane at the beginning of this post).
It is Holy Thursday. 1:30 am. What am I still doing up? Am I trying to stay awake with Jesus?
I know the answer to that question. And I don't mean just for tonight. I mean everyday.
As I wrote on March 26, a line seems to have been drawn. There is no middle ground these days. Either we are for Jesus or we are against Him. We have to decide.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. (Joshua 24:15)
I know my decision but I am also reminded of Peter and his denial of Jesus.
And so this Holy Thursday, I pray that God will give me the graces I need to stay awake with Jesus.


Karinann said...

This beautifully honest and filled with humility, Colleen. Your reflection made me think of a couple of things. Last night at Mass, our pastor's homily was excellent. He brought out the fact that Judas was chosen by Jesus as one of the twelve, but still sinned, and if he could so could we. Peter too betrayed Jesus- the difference between the two being Peter wept tears of repentance, but Judas despaired. Father ended his homily praying that when we do fall, we are more like Peter.
The other thing I was thinking was what Jesus says about those who are lukewarm. As you said, a line has been drawn, no middle ground either we are with Jesus or against Him. May we always stay with Him and pray for those who are not or are still on that fence.
Have a blessed Triduum.

Karinann said...

Oops- forgot to thank you for the link :) Thanks!
Hugs & blessings!

Colleen said...

Karinann, thank you for your comment. I appreciate it, I really do! Your pastor's thoughts about Peter vs Judas is a good reminder for all of us. And your thought on "lukewarm" is great. I do not think we can be lukewarm these days. Or ever.
It is nice to not be alone with these thoughts and feelings!
Hugs and blessings this holy week.

mary333 said...

The trees look like I imagined them,too.
Yes, the line has been drawn. I once wrote a post a few years back about a word I got concerning this and a man sent me an e-mail that said: "Confirmation. The Lord is separating the sheep from the goats." I am not surprised when I get confirmations, they are important, but it WAS rather blunt. Made me take it all the more seriously, actually.

"AS for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" is on a plaque in my dining room :) It took me years to find that plaque!

God bless you, Colleen :)

Victor S E Moubarak said...

Thought-provoking. Thank you.

Happy Easter.

God bless.

Colleen said...

Thank you, Victor. Happy Easter to you too.

Owner of Homeschool Faith and Family Life Website said...

Thank you for sharing this beautiful reflection. My son, Jacob, 15, played the part of Jesus in our parish Passion Play this year...and when he turned to the "Apostles" who were sprawled all over the floor, sleepy-eyed...and shouted, "Can you not stay awake with me for but one hour?!?" his words seared through my heart. I prayed for Jacob, in that moment, and asked Our Lord to ALWAYS grant him the courage in his young life "to stay awake and pray". Ever since the post where you wrote that "we are either for or against Him" I have been VERY mindful of this and how it applies in my day to day. THANK YOU.

Colleen said...

Judy, I can imagine how you felt watching your son and hearing those words. We as mothers pray a lot for our children to stay awake and pray. I am glad my words stayed with you. They are still very much on my mind and my heart. Thank you for sharing this with me.